Welcome to September....
Since my last post, things were still pretty rough for me. As to this post I have understand the title.
I have invested much time and money to self-help books and it cost up to RM500 ringgit. In fact I have also done surveys, interview and test trying on Males. To my surprise I have all the answers.
I came a across this author she said meanwhile waiting for your soulmate to meet you, take that time to prepare, retreat and pamper yourself to the fullest. As i was wondering how true this can be, the next morning I have make a decision that I will just move on bit by bit and letting it go.
Promising myself that each time I can let go, I will praise myself by getting something to love myself even more. Yea is true, everyday pass and till a day i walk down the hall way, I bump in to Kumar, I continue walking and he thought I would stop, but I never, My heart and mind keep telling don't stop don't fall again.
I manage to convince myself to walk and to my surprise he walk back towards me and greeted me. I can see he is trying so hard to make this easier but I make it tough for him. He talk to me but I just spare a few Seconds and I turn and continue walking. I felt so good.
There is a point in the moment, I nearly wanted to go all the way down and confronted him and question him with all i have and also tell the entire world what kind of person he is. Thinking about it over and over again, does he worth me doing all this for him. Time, energy and planning. What do i get at the end of it. Till today there is a question for him that he have not answer me. No matter what someday i will need him to answer that question and i know it won't be too long to know them.
.................................................................................
One door shut and another door open, hmmm..... nice. Sanat a Johanian fella. Grad UTM and currently working for Schlumberger and soon will be posted to Norway, Oslo. Nice city and country.
When he was in Penang we chatted on FB. He said he will be in KL. He wants to meet. So happen I was about to go Bookfest, and I invited him along. I also got to know he is not interested in looking at books. Besides MJ books.
He shakes his right leg when he is nervous, habit while eating. hahahah.... And he brought me up to Genting for two hours and come down. Perfect.
Its been a great Friday and saturday weekend off..... and to what I know today monday, he needs to fly to Norway soon enough.
I am happy for him as there will be a up rising career guy. He requested me to follow him after the second date. But not for me. I have life in Malaysia and I love here. Like I always mention, I do not know what the future hold up for me but I know right now I have begin to find the journey and know many more people who is better than all the ex i had.
Potentially someone will have to be my bestfriend. Guide and tell me and reason things to me. hahahaha....
If there is fate we shall be back in each other arms no matter how and what the situation is. Burning the candle slowly. Perfectly like enjoying my life. Burning it too fast will only finish it fast. No thrill!! hahaha!!!
To now where i am standing, I thank Kumar, cause if not because of him I won't bother getting books, seeking answers, and knowing the reality of love and what Guys mind really are.
Sherry Argov you are the most wonderful lady. You save a simple soul who is out there living and looking for her love but in a way she do it is wrong. Now I know ... Guys and Boys.... there is Never a Men..... hahahahahaha
Ladies and Gentlemen, I am back on my two feet and Trust me..... I have no regrets of knowing this all and if you asked me to go back the cycle of it, the answer is Worth it!!!
I value myself as the mind, I know I have the ability of it. I have a lot to offer so it is Me who select which one I will like to offer.... Ladies Out there... Be a Bitch to Bait your Guy.... Trust me... No pain No Gain No Value. Your guy should learn to value you more and YOu are a Prize to him....
Monday, September 5, 2011
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Guys Mentality in Love
Its been a ride. what a wah la... Anyway, Yea i move on would say now is about 90% and soon it will be over. I had great time being single for now. I find joy in it and I can feel the freedom and I enjoy it in fact. Sounded weird but yea the smile the glory I achieve during this moment in time I accomplish quite a lot of things. I manage to travel spontaneously without hesitation.
Two ladies pack their stuff and head on the road trip. My cousin and i were in the same process. Just helping. With all the expression I have and the journey i been through many would come up to me for advise and surprisingly I am able to help them.
My close friend she like this guy and I guide her there to win his heart. hahaha. Sort of would say the failure in relationship makes me read guys character better and to my knowing actually we women are the game player. the mastermind of the entire thing. Yes is true sounded not but yea is freaking true when I just did a research on it.
The only losing point in a women they rush for compassion and care and this is something when guy perspective take it as Commitment. No offense guys, It is in their nature to them everything is a trying out and a game. Is the nature of them.
Well in this moment of the suffer i went through, Sherry Argov the writer she have this book.... entitle Why Men Love Bitches, have brought me back alive. It Magical and supportive and encouraging.
Ladies Wipe your tears, be a the person take charge of yourself. No point crying that will only benefit him and he enjoys the trigger...
To my surprise, I tested it on some few guys with the theory and also did interview with many guys, and all of them answer to my question correctly with the right prediction. Read it and Try it!!! hahah Good Luck!!
Two ladies pack their stuff and head on the road trip. My cousin and i were in the same process. Just helping. With all the expression I have and the journey i been through many would come up to me for advise and surprisingly I am able to help them.
My close friend she like this guy and I guide her there to win his heart. hahaha. Sort of would say the failure in relationship makes me read guys character better and to my knowing actually we women are the game player. the mastermind of the entire thing. Yes is true sounded not but yea is freaking true when I just did a research on it.
The only losing point in a women they rush for compassion and care and this is something when guy perspective take it as Commitment. No offense guys, It is in their nature to them everything is a trying out and a game. Is the nature of them.
Well in this moment of the suffer i went through, Sherry Argov the writer she have this book.... entitle Why Men Love Bitches, have brought me back alive. It Magical and supportive and encouraging.
Ladies Wipe your tears, be a the person take charge of yourself. No point crying that will only benefit him and he enjoys the trigger...
To my surprise, I tested it on some few guys with the theory and also did interview with many guys, and all of them answer to my question correctly with the right prediction. Read it and Try it!!! hahah Good Luck!!
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Moving On
Its been a healing process for me. Rough ride. I forgive and already let it go. New Chapter as I move on in my life.
I have been spending a lot of money in buying books. For research and reading purpose. Each book has it own identity and new things for me to know about Human Character as a base and Break it down more towards the men side of breaking their code to understand them better.
Probably i will take this learning process to a higher level which makes it specimen time or to interview men. Can't wait. hahaha!!!
In reading I find a lot of Answer also a form of meditation for me to calm myself down. I would like to dedicate a thank you to Author Sherry Argov for her two successful Selling Book, Why men Love Bitches and Why Men Marry Bitches. It would not for this book I think i will repeat the things that i will do and it helps to rectify problems in love which occur and never the less I was being Nice. After Reading ..... Ladies, Roll up your Sleeves and enjoy the privilege and be a bitch for them. They Like it do it... hahaha!!
Sherry's Book gave me back the confident and also teaches me how to be in control of myself without losing my identity. Simple and precise as per say. Read it and it helps so much ladies. Hahahaha!!
Today, I went out to meet my Highschool Close Friend. As usual never have the enough time as both were busy. She is in Media Prima line, I am studying Events. Will be working together I think I am not too sure. May be Someday might never know.
I miss her. As she use to be the person in school that i chill out the most with and also 5 consecutive years being in the same class and seat close by. Now I would blame the Teachers for Separating us from seating together because we talk so much.
We went for Lunch and she paid for the bill. Interesting. After that I went to MPH bookstore and I finally found the Book I have been looking for. Perfect.
I find my life now is much better compare to the pass week, I credit myself for being so strong to walk up to the Prime time of myself again.
Thinking of What happen, I read back the Message in the Archive, Kumar did hinted by asking me not to think about him. With This I will be fully aware the next guy, haha, you will never get to come close to me that easy. hahaha!!!
Anyway, I have move on, and I am thankful and glad, things did not work out between me and him, as I think There will be better and Nicer and Wiser Indian Guys available for me to know. Your Lost and not mine, another guys gain. hahahaha!!
Looking forward for my fabulous life which is what I am doing. Enjoying every single minute of it.
To all the Mantra and Sutra's I have read, the light and strength You actually shine down to me. Thank you Lord Buddha for that endless love and blessing to your child here. Sadhu Sadhu Sadhu!!! Amitabha!!
I have been spending a lot of money in buying books. For research and reading purpose. Each book has it own identity and new things for me to know about Human Character as a base and Break it down more towards the men side of breaking their code to understand them better.
Probably i will take this learning process to a higher level which makes it specimen time or to interview men. Can't wait. hahaha!!!
In reading I find a lot of Answer also a form of meditation for me to calm myself down. I would like to dedicate a thank you to Author Sherry Argov for her two successful Selling Book, Why men Love Bitches and Why Men Marry Bitches. It would not for this book I think i will repeat the things that i will do and it helps to rectify problems in love which occur and never the less I was being Nice. After Reading ..... Ladies, Roll up your Sleeves and enjoy the privilege and be a bitch for them. They Like it do it... hahaha!!
Sherry's Book gave me back the confident and also teaches me how to be in control of myself without losing my identity. Simple and precise as per say. Read it and it helps so much ladies. Hahahaha!!
Today, I went out to meet my Highschool Close Friend. As usual never have the enough time as both were busy. She is in Media Prima line, I am studying Events. Will be working together I think I am not too sure. May be Someday might never know.
I miss her. As she use to be the person in school that i chill out the most with and also 5 consecutive years being in the same class and seat close by. Now I would blame the Teachers for Separating us from seating together because we talk so much.
We went for Lunch and she paid for the bill. Interesting. After that I went to MPH bookstore and I finally found the Book I have been looking for. Perfect.
I find my life now is much better compare to the pass week, I credit myself for being so strong to walk up to the Prime time of myself again.
Thinking of What happen, I read back the Message in the Archive, Kumar did hinted by asking me not to think about him. With This I will be fully aware the next guy, haha, you will never get to come close to me that easy. hahaha!!!
Anyway, I have move on, and I am thankful and glad, things did not work out between me and him, as I think There will be better and Nicer and Wiser Indian Guys available for me to know. Your Lost and not mine, another guys gain. hahahaha!!
Looking forward for my fabulous life which is what I am doing. Enjoying every single minute of it.
To all the Mantra and Sutra's I have read, the light and strength You actually shine down to me. Thank you Lord Buddha for that endless love and blessing to your child here. Sadhu Sadhu Sadhu!!! Amitabha!!
Monday, August 15, 2011
A ride that I just Finally Wake up!!
Its been a crazy ride for me. Being in a relationship with Kumar and than being left and he walks out of my life without a word. Stranded and devastated deep down. I show a little at home but when I am alone I cry in my heart so much. Painfully and sadly.
Finally I am awake and moving on slowly and being help by online therapist and what not. I swear no Depression no more. It is scary for that moment when I thought I might be in Depression mode again. Thank God He is always my Savior. God I heard your whisper and Thank you for being always there for me.
My Journey with Kumar ends here and although I still have feelings for him, there is nothing much I could do about him. During this duration of time I asked myself is he my soul mate or my Jerk Mate? Do I deserve this kind of treatment from him, Where do I see myself with him in 10 years time down the road? There is too much question in my mind. Running through like turbine spinning ....
I have self retreat and join in some forum meeting new people like me, as this also let me know that I am not the only one. I have my family and my entire family love me dearly. I went on for family spa retreat, family meetings and discussion, meet up for the weekends, Movie marathon with my cousin, have pillow talk with my girls. Gossip Queen..
Kumar needs to grow up and be a bit more responsible. Love is some too fragile and innocent to be hurt. Thank goodness this is not my first relationship. There is a lot to tell and nurture, but probably by fate I am not given that chance and another guy benefit from it.
Kumar you are 33 and i think, with what have happen you will never be able to face me if the day you never come clean to me. I have known all your lies and after lies. I know it but i never say it because I did not want to left you without ego especially with your friends around. I also know you when behind my back and many things you said you hurt my innocent heart badly. But you think I am ignorance enough not to know anything.
Kumar, thank you for teaching me this wonderful lesson in life. In another persons eyes probably you are so great and helicopter, cars and evo and bla bla bla, but to be honest material does not bring you to any level that one person judge you in life. You love reputation but today you break it yourself. You could talk to me and I understand that 2 person might not be together for certain reason.
You probably did not know that I do read a lot and I do research a lot. I can read body language and observation brings me a higher level. Kumar, if ever happen to drop by in my blog, welcome.
With this Kumar, I am not scaring you or forcing you or setting up a threat, but this is a place probably you will know who I am and more about my life and the real person I am. I wish you all the best to whoever you are with a great journey sincerely if that makes you happy and I hope the girl will not be ended like me.
Enough of all the sweet words and what not Kumar, thank you for running away from me when you see me paying parking ticket on Orientation Night. Thank you for all the lies and fake hope that you did not even intended to have it with me. Your Mother will be so proud of you.
Though I still have feelings for you but I know I will need to close the chapter soon enough even before I know It. Thank you for everything. You are always BUSY like you said but you are not because I know you can leave your Office at 7pm. Going movie and what not ..and for me is.. no time, I am busy.. and i am with my boss.. well Kumar, enough. Do you know how many people treated you like a clown because of your lies, does not mean you have the power you have the respect. Respect is some you earn
! a 33 years old Clown as in NO LICENSE CLOWN.
Grow up, be real, and soon you will meet someone true and sincere. Lies and fakers will never bring anything high.
You should have your KEY CHAIN back kumar. I will give it to you.
Bye for now!
hey People, Jerks are everywhere....choose wisely, Their job main Job is to mess up peoples life. U Disgrace yourself Kumar.
Oh yea, In order to Gain respect, you are the One needed to Respect People First.
Finally I am awake and moving on slowly and being help by online therapist and what not. I swear no Depression no more. It is scary for that moment when I thought I might be in Depression mode again. Thank God He is always my Savior. God I heard your whisper and Thank you for being always there for me.
My Journey with Kumar ends here and although I still have feelings for him, there is nothing much I could do about him. During this duration of time I asked myself is he my soul mate or my Jerk Mate? Do I deserve this kind of treatment from him, Where do I see myself with him in 10 years time down the road? There is too much question in my mind. Running through like turbine spinning ....
I have self retreat and join in some forum meeting new people like me, as this also let me know that I am not the only one. I have my family and my entire family love me dearly. I went on for family spa retreat, family meetings and discussion, meet up for the weekends, Movie marathon with my cousin, have pillow talk with my girls. Gossip Queen..
Kumar needs to grow up and be a bit more responsible. Love is some too fragile and innocent to be hurt. Thank goodness this is not my first relationship. There is a lot to tell and nurture, but probably by fate I am not given that chance and another guy benefit from it.
Kumar you are 33 and i think, with what have happen you will never be able to face me if the day you never come clean to me. I have known all your lies and after lies. I know it but i never say it because I did not want to left you without ego especially with your friends around. I also know you when behind my back and many things you said you hurt my innocent heart badly. But you think I am ignorance enough not to know anything.
Kumar, thank you for teaching me this wonderful lesson in life. In another persons eyes probably you are so great and helicopter, cars and evo and bla bla bla, but to be honest material does not bring you to any level that one person judge you in life. You love reputation but today you break it yourself. You could talk to me and I understand that 2 person might not be together for certain reason.
You probably did not know that I do read a lot and I do research a lot. I can read body language and observation brings me a higher level. Kumar, if ever happen to drop by in my blog, welcome.
With this Kumar, I am not scaring you or forcing you or setting up a threat, but this is a place probably you will know who I am and more about my life and the real person I am. I wish you all the best to whoever you are with a great journey sincerely if that makes you happy and I hope the girl will not be ended like me.
Enough of all the sweet words and what not Kumar, thank you for running away from me when you see me paying parking ticket on Orientation Night. Thank you for all the lies and fake hope that you did not even intended to have it with me. Your Mother will be so proud of you.
Though I still have feelings for you but I know I will need to close the chapter soon enough even before I know It. Thank you for everything. You are always BUSY like you said but you are not because I know you can leave your Office at 7pm. Going movie and what not ..and for me is.. no time, I am busy.. and i am with my boss.. well Kumar, enough. Do you know how many people treated you like a clown because of your lies, does not mean you have the power you have the respect. Respect is some you earn
! a 33 years old Clown as in NO LICENSE CLOWN.
Grow up, be real, and soon you will meet someone true and sincere. Lies and fakers will never bring anything high.
You should have your KEY CHAIN back kumar. I will give it to you.
Bye for now!
hey People, Jerks are everywhere....choose wisely, Their job main Job is to mess up peoples life. U Disgrace yourself Kumar.
Oh yea, In order to Gain respect, you are the One needed to Respect People First.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Flash of memories...
After uni i head straight home due to Ramadhan Traffic. I went to pick up some food in the bazaar and than Went to carrefour.
As I was walking there is a guy standing there with a glimps of eyes I saw Him.... I double look... I got a shock. 90% look like him. Way of Dressing, Standing, Walking.. Just that this one the Eye is much Bigger. hahaha
I was shock. Immediately all the flashback were in my mind. I am lost in a moment. May be they are brothers. hahahaha!!!!!
So look a like. It mess up my mind. Probably time will let me know what is the answer. In life life When you chase for something or anything it will run away. (Argov)
Is time to stop chasing. Is time to move on and get settle in Life.
As I was walking there is a guy standing there with a glimps of eyes I saw Him.... I double look... I got a shock. 90% look like him. Way of Dressing, Standing, Walking.. Just that this one the Eye is much Bigger. hahaha
I was shock. Immediately all the flashback were in my mind. I am lost in a moment. May be they are brothers. hahahaha!!!!!
So look a like. It mess up my mind. Probably time will let me know what is the answer. In life life When you chase for something or anything it will run away. (Argov)
Is time to stop chasing. Is time to move on and get settle in Life.
Monday, August 8, 2011
Lost......My Mind...
Being the bubbly girl i use to be but not any moment I see those now. I Created a line from those and is hard to walked through it. When I walk it through the same road again it is rather scary then not. I am not too sure of what is going on to my life exactly at the moment. I am sort of Lost with no direction.
Its been a hard road for my journey and why do the Hell in the world you would love doing something so selfish to someone else life. Is it because I am being nice and good that is what I get. I am never too sure of those. Yes I am devastated and that is also your proud doing wrong.
You enter my world and I follow and just move accordingly. Promises and words you hurt me spiritually. I wonder What on earth i have done to you. I am sitting down here wondering why and how was it my mistake, the answer was no.
You said you did not want to disturb my study life, but you have already cut through deep inside her heart and You said " Love is a Feeling and Never to Break it as it is Painful".
I use to love coming to the University, but you spoiled the entire thing. I do not know what do i owe you. I do not know why you have to do this to me, and also just left me half hanging.
If that makes you happy, That continue to live and destroy people's life.
Its been a hard road for my journey and why do the Hell in the world you would love doing something so selfish to someone else life. Is it because I am being nice and good that is what I get. I am never too sure of those. Yes I am devastated and that is also your proud doing wrong.
You enter my world and I follow and just move accordingly. Promises and words you hurt me spiritually. I wonder What on earth i have done to you. I am sitting down here wondering why and how was it my mistake, the answer was no.
You said you did not want to disturb my study life, but you have already cut through deep inside her heart and You said " Love is a Feeling and Never to Break it as it is Painful".
I use to love coming to the University, but you spoiled the entire thing. I do not know what do i owe you. I do not know why you have to do this to me, and also just left me half hanging.
If that makes you happy, That continue to live and destroy people's life.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Continue the Journey.....
Well I have left myself to rod at home for 3 consecutive days with all emotions run up like bucket rush. I cried while listening to music, Going out with cousin brother, sing karaoke, yam cha with my cousins and then become a make up doll for my cousin, went out to Kinokuniya Book Store, and went dinner with sister and cousin.
My life have move again from another level to a higher level where I am sure there will be new challenges ahead of me as i am not sure what. Continue to walk the journey and picking up the bit and pieces that left me much struggle with know what to do? and what he wants and all rubbish connection to it.
Instead of asking what are all the questions and things about him, is time for me to prioritize my self and setting my goals right. Stop by if you think I am right, but please stay away to avoid meddling of friendship instead. PERFECTLY Clear now.
My life is back to normal. I thank the experience i have been through and I see it clearly now of how to handle situation. Is so much excitement when I look at it. I thought it was tough but it is rather smooth sailing now then ever I thought of. In this beginning I have not seen him around. I am stronger than I thought i was never. Smile and cheers.
Something interesting now, Kathrine is bugging me how long more I would like to blog. well To let you know Kat, My blog is a story line in my daily life that I pen down most time. I know you Hate reading. But I love Reading. Kisses...!!!
I have bring myself back up and this time No more Relationship. I hate the feeling of being left Half hanging! it Sucks!!! hahahah!!! I am stronger than Yesterday!!!
My life have move again from another level to a higher level where I am sure there will be new challenges ahead of me as i am not sure what. Continue to walk the journey and picking up the bit and pieces that left me much struggle with know what to do? and what he wants and all rubbish connection to it.
Instead of asking what are all the questions and things about him, is time for me to prioritize my self and setting my goals right. Stop by if you think I am right, but please stay away to avoid meddling of friendship instead. PERFECTLY Clear now.
My life is back to normal. I thank the experience i have been through and I see it clearly now of how to handle situation. Is so much excitement when I look at it. I thought it was tough but it is rather smooth sailing now then ever I thought of. In this beginning I have not seen him around. I am stronger than I thought i was never. Smile and cheers.
Something interesting now, Kathrine is bugging me how long more I would like to blog. well To let you know Kat, My blog is a story line in my daily life that I pen down most time. I know you Hate reading. But I love Reading. Kisses...!!!
I have bring myself back up and this time No more Relationship. I hate the feeling of being left Half hanging! it Sucks!!! hahahah!!! I am stronger than Yesterday!!!
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