In a flashback moment, I realize I have spoken to quite a number of people if not parents or student themselves. Many a times strangers I have meet come up to me with a question like this:
1) How did you manage to find your passion or doing what you love doing now?
2) How did you convince your parents?
3) My son / daughter love this, but i find that Engineer would be a great prospect for them (Scenario 1)
4) I have no idea what She/ He like, but keep telling me I love singing Dancing and stage, or drawing (Scenario 2)
5) Professional jobs are so good in the industry..... I think I would like to study business cause my friends in it.
6) Parent asked them back : Are you really interested in it or just because you are following your friends?
7) When I suggest them to give time to their kids like 6 months or a year to figure what they want... Parents say oooohh tooo long... (scenario 3)
The big question: What do I want to study after form 5
1) Situation: You are now Final Year of High School Student Not Knowing what you want or do not know how to express it in words.
2) Situation : You know what you want to do but got confuse because third party implanting ideas or opinion of their and make it like you wanted it badly but that is not
3) Situation: You know exactly what you want to do after Form 5 which is working. You do this is to make sure you make no wrong decision before further study in it BUT..... third party say no and wasting time was of the reason.
4) Situation: You know you want to work first and then study, but third party reason behind is Make sure they finish study then work, cause when they work, they never want to go back to study because they are getting income and that diverse their attention.
So how?
Dear undergraduates, students, and fellow highly respected parents.
Speaking from a point where I come from and what I have experience, I am not extra ordinary from yourself, your student or your children. Have anyone heard of the word Dyslexia? Sounds alien to the community. Yes it is. Do you remember when you were younger your parents or adults used to say arg... this child is lazy, she does not like to write her homework, her handwriting is ugly or even multiple times of doing the same thing, but yet the result is the same. Yes I was and I am that young child. Even those younger days I have always think about why do I have to go to school? Is school just the ONLY place I could learn? Why School? I had never pass my subject in all the test in school till is UPSR, PMR, SPM, yes I pull through just like marginally pass.
I remember, never once in the class I could write the speed of the others when we have to copy down something. Not noticing there is something not right, and innocently believing that I was slow and lazy student just like how they perceive this child to be. (Imaging Labeling) I am being labeled lazy.
Many children in the community are suffering silently in pain just like how I was. Remembering those old time, everybody know I love talking but no one stood up and say she will be a famous emcee someday, a singer, or somebody very influential to the society. Even parents themselves shy away from the reality of this child ability. Thinking in their (Parents) mind I was good enough for LAW. Well, have they really seat down and think and analyze the God gifted strength to that child to pursue in something more than LAW just because is reputable.
Well, RM10k wasted 1 and the Half year there and the end product, nearly suffered from depression and lost track.
Well here is what I want to discuss and share and in hope with that, I hope I could Help Many out there who are lost and not knowing what to do.
MAD Girl Speaking to Young Adults (Teenagers):
Your pathway after form 5 will be :
1) Know exactly WHAT YOU WANT and you pursue straight to the course and parents agrees to it = Great pathway and wish well in the journey and all the best. ( Is the perfect Imaginary pathway for Parents)
2) Know exactly WHAT YOU WANT BUT your parents DISAGREE to the course you choose because they think with your Intelligence and cleverness you SHOULD have pursue in PROFESSIONAL JOB = Crossroads, Dilemma and ( Parent's Nightmare and Tension will arise and argument of both saying their point)
3) Parent's financially constrain and work and study later
4) Parent disagree for you work because of focus and wasting of time but you insist in working.
5) Supportive parents (Children's Greatest Happiness and joy)
Dear teenagers,
Knowing one facts, they are your parents and no matter what happens, (beside illegal abuse and anything against the law) please know that each parent want their child to be successful and earn well and live well even if they do not have the ability. Parents are parents and someday we will be in that shoes and doing the same cycle.
But that does not mean the options for you is the ultimately best for you. REMEMBER, there is difference between best suit yourself and best suit you of what your parents think. Best suits you meaning you have to be comfortable and happy with the choice you make. Best Suit you of what your parents think meaning Your Parent think is the best options for you. Their choice making them yours. Clarify that. VERY Important.
But but..... ho.... I really want to pursue my dreams, my goals, okie look. You have to know the stability income that your both parent are earning. Down to factor please know that stability of income is so important to sustain the study years of the child. Especially in Malaysia, majority will opt for private Universities.
Not knowing what to study, simply take time off to work and find a job with office or something you can learn from. The skill work, in the kitchen, hotel, banquet, clerk, teller, office girl/ office boy. The longer you work you will come to a realization of what you want to do with your life and future plans.
If there is dilemma, try to relax your mind and close your eyes. Use your heart to see what is the image portray out. That is the answer. Most time when this method is used the result would be they will go for something not painted in the image. The successful once will make it and shut the paper to their parent's mouth and do what they want after that.
The not struggling ones will fail and fail and till give up. Time wasted and come and go for the dreams.
MAD Girl Speaking to Parents,
Your highest, Parents,
Your motivation is the greatest strength you could give your children. Sometimes when you are worried about their future, you took charge and without knowing you have make decision for them. Is not wrong because it is mother nature born that way and nothing so wrong with that. Your support is the pillar of strength that you kids will come home to you and bow to you and say mum dad I love you so much because I am Lucky to be given the choice to choose my pathway and allow me to find my true self and happiness. Is the every parents dream that they could have the most grateful kid they could have.
Let them choose, asked them, lead them and not making decision for them. Always allow them to speak their heart out and let you know what are they thinking. Sometimes kids being kids not very good in words cannot express through words but actions. Allow them to shine in their gifted wisdom and talent. EACH one of the child is never a less smart kids. They are all smart but Smart in their own way in a place where they could shine so brightly.
Asked them is this what they really want to be, want to do and do it with their passion and heart. My parents thought me I will do anything if they pay me, but they never know why I am smiling each day. I smile despite my income in tight, I am satisfied with my job, I am happy to be where I am. contented and satisfactions is the ultimate true feeling of your child smiles.
I have a sister, academic A++ , professional job and doing well in her way. I am good in skills, I can organize and plan for events, learning to take care and teach the kids. I have my leadership skills in my way. That does not people are not good in Academic are not GOOD at their Gifted Skills. I totally agree to MADAM CHOW WAI LING, a believer in Home Schooling, Studies are not just structure education in schools and tuition, there are more education stuff besides just school.
I have wrote this in hope that Parents will get to understand one step deeper in to their children's mind and teenagers should have a difference perceptions on parents. Understanding and open up to talk and discuss will be a good start.
How I walk through discrimination and be here standing tall .... Next Topic.
For now.... Respect decisions....Support and you will see the glory shining upon him like a winner.
MAD Girl,
Pei Yee
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