A ride that I just Finally Wake up!!

Its been a crazy ride for me. Being in a relationship with Kumar and than being left and he walks out of my life without a word. Stranded and devastated deep down. I show a little at home but when I am alone I cry in my heart so much. Painfully and sadly.

Finally I am awake and moving on slowly and being help by online therapist and what not. I swear no Depression no more. It is scary for that moment when I thought I might be in Depression mode again. Thank God He is always my Savior. God I heard your whisper and Thank you for being always there for me.

My Journey with Kumar ends here and although I still have feelings for him, there is nothing much I could do about him. During this duration of time I asked myself is he my soul mate or my Jerk Mate? Do I deserve this kind of treatment from him, Where do I see myself with him in 10 years time down the road? There is too much question in my mind. Running through like turbine spinning ....

I have self retreat and join in some forum meeting new people like me, as this also let me know that I am not the only one. I have my family and my entire family love me dearly. I went on for family spa retreat, family meetings and discussion, meet up for the weekends, Movie marathon with my cousin, have pillow talk with my girls. Gossip Queen..

Kumar needs to grow up and be a bit more responsible. Love is some too fragile and innocent to be hurt. Thank goodness this is not my first relationship. There is a lot to tell and nurture, but probably by fate I am not given that chance and another guy benefit from it.

Kumar you are 33 and i think, with what have happen you will never be able to face me if the day you never come clean to me. I have known all your lies and after lies. I know it but i never say it because I did not want to left you without ego especially with your friends around. I also know you when behind my back and many things you said you hurt my innocent heart badly. But you think I am ignorance enough not to know anything.

Kumar, thank you for teaching me this wonderful lesson in life. In another persons eyes probably you are so great and helicopter, cars and evo and bla bla bla, but to be honest material does not bring you to any level that one person judge you in life. You love reputation but today you break it yourself. You could talk to me and I understand that 2 person might not be together for certain reason.

You probably did not know that I do read a lot and I do research a lot. I can read body language and observation brings me a higher level. Kumar, if ever happen to drop by in my blog, welcome.

With this Kumar, I am not scaring you or forcing you or setting up a threat, but this is a place probably you will know who I am and more about my life and the real person I am. I wish you all the best to whoever you are with a great journey sincerely if that makes you happy and I hope the girl will not be ended like me.

Enough of all the sweet words and what not Kumar, thank you for running away from me when you see me paying parking ticket on Orientation Night. Thank you for all the lies and fake hope that you did not even intended to have it with me. Your Mother will be so proud of you.

Though I still have feelings for you but I know I will need to close the chapter soon enough even before I know It. Thank you for everything. You are always BUSY like you said but you are not because I know you can leave your Office at 7pm. Going movie and what not ..and for me is.. no time, I am busy.. and i am with my boss.. well Kumar, enough. Do you know how many people treated you like a clown because of your lies, does not mean you have the power you have the respect. Respect is some you earn
! a 33 years old Clown as in NO LICENSE CLOWN.

Grow up, be real, and soon you will meet someone true and sincere. Lies and fakers will never bring anything high.

You should have your KEY CHAIN back kumar. I will give it to you.

Bye for now!

hey People, Jerks are everywhere....choose wisely, Their job main Job is to mess up peoples life. U Disgrace yourself Kumar.

Oh yea, In order to Gain respect, you are the One needed to Respect People First.